Editing Process: Draft #9-16? of “Anori: The Cx Trilogy”

I am amidst another edit of Anori, which is been smooth and terrible, satisfyingly angst-ridden? Anyway, I have dumped another couple of bits I previously adored. This is small bit of dialogue which did nothing in the end.

“I’m the captain.”

“Hubris, Pax, That’s what gets captains killed.”

“That’s what what makes them captains.”

“What happened to Cook and Bligh?”

“They didn’t kill Bligh.”

“I think you’re missing the point.”

The second is a scene that took the narrative sideways and just didn’t even work.

Nico offered her his hand. “I’m trying to understand who I am.”

“How did you get up here?” She went past him and looked out at the empty expanse. The sky had gone dark, the clouds coming in low. Dee crossed her arms. “Where did Pax go? Seriously, where the hell is he?”

Nico walked ahead. “You know, I was on the football team in high school. Middle linebacker. We won the city championship.”

“Congratulations.” He stopped suddenly. “I raped a freshman at a party.”

“What the fuck are you telling me this for?”

“I got her totally drunk. I was drunk too, but I knew what I was doing. I just did it mechanically, like it was my right, took off her clothes, stripped her naked, and, yeah, went at it. She was so goddamn beautiful. I was King Kong. That’s’ what I thought. And I loved the girl. I think I did. Evelyn. She never looked at me again.” He zipped his jacket up and then back down again. “I never had to face what I did. And I wish I did.”

“I’m going to call bullshit on that.”