I own hockey

This National Hockey League lockout/strike/work stoppage thing is pathetic; the owners and players can make as many serious faces and proclamations as they like, but the farce has to end. I own hockeyIf these gravel-heads can’t figure this out – how much money do they want now?!? – they need to hire an arbitrator to do it for them. It’s that simple. They can hire me, and I’ll do it gratis, out of the goodness of my ice-cold heart. I’ll solve it in one hour. One hour, that’s a promise. Done. (And if they don’t like my final solution, I’ll send in the fourth line to straighten the matter out.)I own hockeyLet’s be clear about this. Both groups – theĀ  players and the owners – are to blame. None of those involved in this brain -damaged dispute can hope for understanding for the simple reason that they both decided to have beer-drunk summers, doing absolutely nothing. I’m sorry, did I say nothing? No, I’m wrong; they actually did engage in a spree of free agent signings, including Parise and Suter for $98 million apiece…uh, what?!? I own hockeyMake no mistake, these ne’er-do-wells are greedy, stupid and expendable. Indeed, as much as today’s players might impress – Stamkos, Karlsson, Quick – they can all be switched out – every last one of them – if they don’t want to play. They can go to Europe, go to Russia, or go home. Or if they want to stand firm in their cute little collective, they can all get jobs in a hockey school together. But if they want to play hockey, if they want to play the game, they need to do that now. No excuses. No press conferences. Nothing but ice. Nothing but hockey. They need to just shut up and play. I own hockeyBettman, Fehr, Leipold, Crosby can pretend all they want. They can pretend that they’re something in their owner’s boxes, in their jerseys, in their locker rooms, on their benches, microphones in their sad little faces, drafts of contracts on their table, their ridiculous numbers – 57%, 46%, 50% – in hand, but it’s nothing, worse, just a percentage of nothing. Hockey is a game, not a business.I own hockeyI own hockey. That’s me. The game, the cup, the dream, they are all mine. These others, these pseudo-players and pseudo-owners, these halfwits and buffoons will be gone soon enough, all of them; and the game will remain as it was, mine, truly. Somebody should tell them soon. Or did I just do that? Goal.

4 thoughts on “I own hockey

  1. Unlike 2004-05 I am not missing hockey – yet. The baseball has been entertaining and I have been otherwise busy. The owners will get most of what they want and both sides know this. Knowing this, Fehr and the players need to hang tough for a while. The stupidity of he owners cannot be rewarded by having the NHLPA roll over like it did in 2005. It won’t make a big difference but it will give the profitable franchises pause before the next lockout.

  2. My lament is for the local businesses that are tied to the flow of fans to a predictable schedule. They can plan on how many staff to hire – food and beverages to purchase / and when they can go on vacations,.. Those owners, the waiters and bus-boys are the real losers here – not the ‘billionaire’ owners or multi-millionaire players – or the fans = get a reality ~ check ~ going on here. I remember watching a game in the ‘Hanger’ once and feeling sick that more than a few of the guys on the ice who were kind-of skating after the puck – but not by much, & who were going to make around $60,000/each that night! Compare their hustle to the activity in a sports bar during the pre-game drink-off – you’ll find no comparison. Pro. hockey players are spoiled spoiled spoiled and the owners charge the fans the absolute most that they can – in every market. Besides, the Habs never seems to make it to the final anymore, and so what fun is there in watching post ‘Lafleur’ hockey anyways? Stupid helmets killed the game years ago.


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