Thank You For Your Fucking Patience

There will be a delay of 90 minutes. We apologize for the delay. 

We have an update on the delay. We are experiencing technical difficulties. It is now three hours. Thank you for your patience.20140711_181020Can I have a water please?

There is no service until we reach cruising altitude. Thank you for flying Delta. 

Just a water.

We have begun our descent. Please replace all tray tables and put your seats in the upright position.

Is there any water? 20141130_073127We apologize, but we will not be able to land. We will go to our alternate destination, which is also our departure point. Please remain in your seat while the seatbelt light is illuminated..

Is it possible to have a water?20141130_073403

Please replace all tray tables and put your seats in the upright position. Anyone making connections should report to the gate agent. 

Connections? From where we left?

We will remain at the gate until we have clearance to return to our destination. We do apologize and thank you for flying Air Canada.

Is there any…?20141130_073401

The crew has exceeded the maximum shift hours permitted. We will have to debark here.

Is there…?

Any questions should be directed to the call center. However they will not be able to take your calls until the flight cancellation is processed.

How long…?

Thank you for flying People’s Express.20161031_004419