The Real Problem with Phil Kessel

Phil Kessel started the summer by bringing the Stanley Cup to Sick Children’s Hospital in Toronto. kessel-jpg-size-custom-crop-1086x724He ended it with a biting tweet on being left off the USA team, which lost all of their games at the World Cup of Hockey. cs5f9ucvuaaf4u4-jpg-smallCoach Tortorella – and some players – took offense. They said that Kessel shouldn’t express an opinion, no matter how relevant, because it had an edge. Screenshot (964)They have a problem with Kessel simply because he’s his own person, because he says what he thinks. Which says a lot more about them.

The Virtual World – and Company

Just back from a one-month writing stint during which I shed, albeit briefly, my log-in addiction, I was able to find some focus in the narrative. 20150710_202206No Leafs. No Dead. No Bachelor.

My days became balanced and quiet, my dreams vivid. I wrote and read and hiked and wrote and read. 20150709_213432It was as good as it gets.

Needless to say, I have returned and been disappointed in virtually every corner: The Leafs traded Kessel, The Grateful Dead devolved into something called The Dead and Company and The Bachelor concluded with a Nazi-like denigration of homosexuality. bachelorette-bachelorsAnd I’m blogging about it again!

Phil Kessel Rules: Put Sports Writers on Waivers

Phil Kessel is to be admired for more than his stick work and scoring touch. phil-kessel-dennis-seidenberg-adam-mcquaid-nhl-boston-bruins-toronto-maple-leafs-850x560He’s also good at saying it like it is, even in the face of harsh criticism. “I’m embarrassed  for you (sports writers). It’s disgusting the way people treat (Dion Phaneuf).” Screenshot (963)The sports writers surrounded him, and he stared them down. “I’ve had it. I think this city is a great city. I love Toronto. I love playing here. but I’m just tired of it. I’m sick of it. I don’t think it should go on any more. I think it needs to stop.” Screenshot (964)The likelihood of Kessel’s advice being heeded is as good as as seeing snakes fly. Screen Shot 2015-03-04 at 11.10.54 AM

Or maybe it’s less likely than that.

Steve Buffrey of The Toronto Sun did his best to spin Kessel’s words: Dumping on the media makes for great copy and sound bites on sports radio. And don’t kid yourself, media types love it when players dump on the media.

The truth is, no matter how Buffrey and his cohorts try to smirk it off, these rumor-mongers are none too pleased. Cathal Kelly, of The Globe & Mail, tried to take the challenge head on: “Once (a player treats reporters with respect), you’ll never rip that guy in print. You’ll criticize, but the ripping days are over. He’s not just someone you cover any more. He’s someone you know.”

The irony here is that Kelly admits to ripping people, which is Kessel’s exact point. The job of a reporter is not to rip, but to report. (Stunning as that may be.) And the idea of Kessel of becoming invested in the personal lives of those looking to attack him just to make them write good stories about him is foul indeed.

Indeed this hubris of the sportswriter is pathetic because they have nothing to have hubris about. They lack skill, ability, insight, empathy, in fact any of the characteristics that make one human. All they seem to know how to do is stand in a clump and rip people – and maybe eat a donut at the same time. They give nothing back. Whereas, Mr. Kessel does give something back with his skill, talent and straight-forward demeanor. Screenshot (965)Phil Kessel is right. Sports writers are embarrassing. They should all be put on waivers just so they can see what they are actually worth for themselves: nothing at all.

How to Solve The Five Big Problems for the Toronto Maple Leafs

The Toronto Maple Leafs have sunk into a terrible morass from which there seems to be little escape. The players are adrift, the coach at a loss, while the media metes out blame and the fans cry in dismay. B9G9hrkCUAAU-WoRather than plunge into some sort of Robespierre frenzy, I suggest the following:

Problem #5: Vitriolic Toronto Sports Media. The Toronto sports media, as eager to deify as they are to condemn, is comprised of knee-jerk simpletons who make as many bad judgements as they do unintelligible puns. B2yA4mcIEAANrAz.jpg-largeThese clown are stupid enough to seriously suggest that Kessel be traded – Are they nuts?!? Solution: Change the channel and watch highlights of the 1993 Playoffs instead.

4. Ineffective Coaching. Ron Wilson (2008-12) and Randy Carlyle (2012-15) provided no direction for the players, beyond yelling and making snide remarks. wilson-preachWhile Horachek struggles to implement a system, it appears that his time will also be limited behind the bench. Solution: Mike Babcock needs to be hired, and Brendan Shanahan is the man to do that.

3. Infantile Fan Base. Sports fans are not known for a generosity of spirit nor intelligent analysis. For a market like the Leafs, where hockey is religion, it is all the worse. The symbolic throwing of team jerseys is emblematic of these childish reactions. imageSolution: Encourage your neighbor to give his jersey to a kid and maybe yell at the Flyers/Canadiens/Bruins/Rangers instead.

2. Lack of Team Leadership. Being captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs is a heavy burden to bear. It is not as much a matter of talent as it is of a confident, under-stated personality such as Dave Keon, Wendel Clark and Mats Sundin all had. 12822218153230Dion Phaneuf is not like these men. As skilled as he might be, he talks too much, often out of turn. Solution: Trade Dion Phaneuf and appoint a new captain in the off-season. James Van Reimsdyk is a good option to consider.

1. Team Management in Disarray. The ownership is weighed down by a bureaucratic board of governors, focused on making too much money, burdened by a history of poor management practice. 940-ballard-8colThis problem is the trickiest of the lot. Hopefully these suits can be swayed by Brian Burke’s wisdom: “They’ll name a street after whoever brings the Stanley Cup to Toronto.” Solution: Remind the board that they hired Brendan Shanahan to be president, and to let him do just that.

Dave Feshuck: Idiot Toronto Star Reporter Strikes Again

Dave Feshuck, Toronto Star sportswriter, made news for himself yesterday by attacking Phil Kessel: “You’re the best player on the team, and the coach is fired…are you difficult to coach?”
Screen Shot 2015-01-07 at 8.28.36 AMKessel turned to the others. “This guy’s such an idiot; he’s always been like this.”

Mr. Kessel is, in fact, quite correct; Feshuck has always been like this. Even as an elementary school student, Feshuck enjoyed baiting others, once demanding of a Grade Four classmate: “You’re the best student here, the school burned down…are you difficult to teach?”

distressed-girl_225Feshuck gave international reporting a swing after college but had to be escorted back to Canada after he posed the following to Prince Charles, “You were supposed to be king, Princess Diana is dead…are you a difficult prince?” prince-charles001Feshuck had a brief reprieve under Mayor Rob Ford, because he seemed to like these questions. “You’re a heroine user, people laugh at you…are you a difficult mayor?”a_560x375However Feshuck had to be escorted away again when he demanded of President Obama, “You’re a black guy, the police are killing black people…are you a difficult president?” 6a00d8341c630a53ef0134884c0c96970c-600wiIt is believed that Obama muttered, “This guy is an idiot.”bSFSQas1And so, Feshuck, being dumb, aggressive and lazy, found he was qualified only for one thing: reporting on sports.

Phil Kessel’s Admirable Disdain for the Sports Media

Last Friday, Toronto lost to Buffalo, the worst team in the league, and Phil Kessel, the Toronto Maple Leafs’ star forward walked away from the media scrum, telling them, “Leave me alone.”

The jilted scum (sic) made a story out of that. As Mr. Kessel admits, his answers rarely offer them anything much. “I’m a guy that likes to go out and play hockey and have some fun.” kessel Break 2Teammate Nazem Kadri, victim of as much negative press as anyone, gave his point of view: “When (Phil) doesn’t feel like he can trust anybody, he gets a little bit shy and a little bit timid in that regard. It’s really nothing personal.” Screenshot (177)Let me put it differently and not so nicely: sports reporters are lazy and judgemental. They do not pose insightful questions that develop understanding of the nature of the game nor the player, but instead pose trite statements with question marks at the end, searching for a quote that they can insert into their pre-written narrative.

These are the statements/questions Kessel avoided: “What are your thoughts on losing to the worst team in the league?” james_vanriemsdyk.jpeg.size.xxlarge.letterbox“How disappointed are you in the team’s efforts?” “How can the team improve?”

Phil Kessel is a great hockey player not only for his skill and humility on the ice but also for his most admirable disdain for these morons he must endure.Screenshot (1133)

The Existential Play of the Toronto Maple Leafs

The heathen fanbase of teams across the continent – be they in Montreal, Boston, Detroit, Los Angeles or Chicago – simply do not understand. blackhawks celebrateThey think it is about winning, hugging and celebrating in a crass display, that this is the point of the game. And I feel sorry for them.Boston Bruins defenseman Zdeno Chara hoists the Stanley Cup after the Boston Bruins beat the Vancouver Canucks 4-0 during Game 7 of the NHL hockey Stanley Cup Finals, Wednesday, June 15, 2011, in Vancouver, British Columbia. (AP Photo/Julie Jacobson)They don’t understand that it isn’t this at all, but, as Camus wrote in The Plague, instead is a reminder of our “never-ending defeat.”toronto_maple_leafs_fans.jpg.size.xxlarge.promoThe Toronto Maple Leafs are only for those who can take it, not the world as we dream, but as it truly is: empty and unrelenting.

Drew McIntyre

Leaf goaltender Drew McIntyre

Yes, the Leafs are only for pure existentialists. Their recent travails – an eight-game losing streak – has even brought The New York Times on the Being and Nothingness train, citing the “disturbing situation”, “devastating slump”,  and Leaf coach Carlyle’s catch phrase, “Just breathe. Take it easy. Breathe.” Toronto-Fans-React-to-Losing-Game-7-Against-Boston-BruinsBut they don’t understand. They use these words devastating and disturbing like they’re a bad thing, like they aren’t needed, like they can be avoided. leafs-kessel1They don’t see the wall behind us, the epidemic that’s surrounds. No. All they see is putting the puck in the net. stargirlsAnd it’s just so sad.