Dave Feshuck: Idiot Toronto Star Reporter Strikes Again

Dave Feshuck, Toronto Star sportswriter, made news for himself yesterday by attacking Phil Kessel: “You’re the best player on the team, and the coach is fired…are you difficult to coach?”
Screen Shot 2015-01-07 at 8.28.36 AMKessel turned to the others. “This guy’s such an idiot; he’s always been like this.”

Mr. Kessel is, in fact, quite correct; Feshuck has always been like this. Even as an elementary school student, Feshuck enjoyed baiting others, once demanding of a Grade Four classmate: “You’re the best student here, the school burned down…are you difficult to teach?”

distressed-girl_225Feshuck gave international reporting a swing after college but had to be escorted back to Canada after he posed the following to Prince Charles, “You were supposed to be king, Princess Diana is dead…are you a difficult prince?” prince-charles001Feshuck had a brief reprieve under Mayor Rob Ford, because he seemed to like these questions. “You’re a heroine user, people laugh at you…are you a difficult mayor?”a_560x375However Feshuck had to be escorted away again when he demanded of President Obama, “You’re a black guy, the police are killing black people…are you a difficult president?” 6a00d8341c630a53ef0134884c0c96970c-600wiIt is believed that Obama muttered, “This guy is an idiot.”bSFSQas1And so, Feshuck, being dumb, aggressive and lazy, found he was qualified only for one thing: reporting on sports.

The Crack Pipe Media

The people of Newtown, Connecticut are mad.1204-VULTURE-MEDIA-NEWTOWN-CONNECTICUT-911-SANDY-HOOK-SHOOTING_full_600It’s almost as if they expect the media to address issues like gun control instead of mainlining our catharsis.NY-CB544_MORN_G_20121216181118

More importantly, what’s this “media vultures” spin? Is the media supposed to be something alien? Do they live in a shadowy compound?StarChamberDon’t the people of Newtown understand that we can only read so much about lobbying for gun control? I mean, it’s just like all of this talk about my privacy being invaded. Instead of going on about what this guy Snowden thinks, can’t TMZ just catch him drunk in Red Square? 1105_cheerleader2_ex-1

In  the meantime, the people of Newtown need to stay focused on news that matters:

Rob Ford Breaking News!

                             Rob Ford Breaking News!

 

And remember Edward R. Murrow’s famous words: “Television isn’t the classroom of the world; it’s the marketplace.” Edward_R_MurrowThat wasn’t a bad guess for a guy who had never posted or sexted, not understanding our basic need for the simple things.tumblr_m24qolhwfk1qevo0qo1_500_largeLife, liberty and the pursuit of more soma.

Five Things To Look At Instead of Being Thoughtful or Productive

In the spirit of the internet’s ever-spiraling plummet toward complete and utter meaninglessness, I offer my Five Things To Look At Instead of Being Thoughtful or Productive.

Look! It's a cute animal doing a cute thing!

5. Look! It’s a cute animal photo-shopped to be cuter!

What the...? A submarine that's shaped like a shark?!

4. What the…? A submarine that’s shaped like a shark?! I want one now!

 

Rob Ford is mocking someone else for drunk driving...and that's ironic!

3. Rob Ford mocking a drunk driver…oh, the irony!

 

2. They're celebrating  perfect scores on their GRE's!

2. Celebrating perfect GRE’s!

 

 

New York City: Electing a Mayor

As I understand it, there are two distinct choices in today’s New York City mayoral election. It’s either this: A-police-officer-shoves-a-007Or this:extralarge

Whoever it is, I expect it will be better than this:

Toronot mayor Rob Ford: "Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine...probably in one of my drunken stupors."

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford finally admits, “Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine…probably in one of my drunken stupors.”