Quiet No More

There was a day, many years ago, when arenas allowed for silence.Quiet No MoreA moment to consider existence, our utter meaninglessness in the vastness of this universe, interrupted occasionally by a polka played on the organ or a lone plastic horn.Quiet No MoreThere were no big screens, no video replays, no music, just you and your thoughts.

Quiet No MoreThose intermittent moments are no longer. Quiet No MoreTrivia games are played at every turn, music blared, T-shirts shot into the crowd.Quiet No MoreAnd I no longer have the time to think about which might be better.Quiet No More

The Russian Revolution after this Commercial Break

Americans have hyped the Sochi Olympics with anti-glee, reveling in every problem with tweets and drivel. The Russian Revolution after this Commercial BreakWhile they have perhaps begun to tone down their ritualistic vitriol for the opening ceremonies, they can’t let go of old prejudices.

Promised NBC commentators Lauer, Viera and Remnick,during the opening ceremonies, “The Russian revolution coming up after this commercial break…”The Russian Revolution after this Commercial Break“The revolution is probably the touchiest period in Russian history,” they continued. “The turmoil in Soviet society, without ever mentioning the word Lenin.”The Russian Revolution after this Commercial Break“They are proud of Ladas here,” they moved on. “Unfortunately they became a punchline for the rest of the world.”The Russian Revolution after this Commercial Break“This is Vladimir Putin’s Russia,” they concluded. “And he is insisting that we look at the political power of Russia tonight.”The Russian Revolution after this Commercial BreakLook out. Here come the ballet dancers.

Obsession VI Revisited: Leafs Dementia

Okay, I must admit that my Toronto Maple Leafs obsession might have gotten the best of me as of late. Game Four was not a game but a maniacal phantasmagoria in double time that extended for an eternity and then vanished in a haze. Obsession VI Revisited: Leafs DementiaPhanuef’s missed hit, the shot under Reimer’s arm, the shot off the post, just wide, the 5-3 power play, the Kadri high stick, the giveaways – oh the giveaways!…it all went around in a rotor until I started to descend into an abyss. What could they have done for a better result? How do they make the puck bounce to the right and not the left? Damn Bruins. Damn undeserving, plodding, bumbling Bruins! I sat mute, inert, unable to think. Nothing.

I couldn’t write the next day. I couldn’t focus on anything and so took my axe and straightened out my pile of wood, split log after log – take that Krejci and Chara! – restructured every piece of the 2,000 into an indomitable wall.Obsession VI Revisited: Leafs DementiaReady for Game Five.

Fulton Street Fires & NCAA Basketball Picks

The New York City Fire Department came to put out a fire on Fulton Street just behind us on Sunday, March 17, a four-alarm fire…and then they were back less than 24 hours later to put out another. Fulton Street Fires & NCAA Basketball Picks“It’s doubtful that there was a hotspot from yesterday,” said FDNY Chief John Esposito. “The fire was in a different area and we had people on the scene last night until six o’clock.”

We watched as firefighters hosed it down the second time for hours and then threw bits of concrete on the smoldering mess (click on the image for your viewing pleasure) while we made our NCAA basketball picks. Fulton Street Fires & NCAA Basketball Picks I’ve got New Mexico all the way.

The Spirituality of Sport

As mentioned previously, I once had a sports column with four different publications over a span of eight years (1989-97); only The Vancouver Courier is still in print. The Spirituality of SportI covered everything from hockey and curling to basketball and bull riding and threw in the occasional vaguely philosophical piece, such as the following much-abridged Spirituality of Sport from The Voice in January 1997:

Professional sport is much maligned these days; popular thought intimates that it has become nothing more than a soulless business that devours athletes and fans alike. Championships are no longer won; they are bought. That’s what the Yankees, Bulls, Avalanche and Cowboys did. The Spirituality of SportMoney has spoiled thousands of athletes, embittered millions of fans and laid waste to entire seasons. Indeed, for many, it has permanently scarred the game. And yet this greedy, gold-toothed face is not the only visage of professional sport. in 1988, Orel Hershiser pitched a complete game to win the World Series and become the World and National League MVP. He was asked how he was able to perform so well under pressure. The Spirituality of Sport“Hymns,” he said.” I was listening to hymns in my head.” There was no gloating or Disneyland, just the hymns. While this idea can be much obscured by the commentators blathering illiticisms and sponsors hijacking triumphant moments, somewhere in between is something pure, almost divine. We only have to fill our heads with music. The Spirituality of SportThat’s when we will truly see Barry Sanders dance through the line, Hakeem Olajuwon loft the soft jumper, Paul Kariya tuck it in the open side and Orel Hershiser look for the sign, check the runner and let it fly.

Bad News Hustlers: Sports in a Scene

Sporting moments can make for effective points in the narrative arc – both the highs and lows – and draw the audience in.

Bad News Hustlers: Sports in a Scene

Bad News Bears

But most often they don’t. The team scores. Everybody cheers. So what?

Bad News Hustlers: Sports in a Scene

The Natural

These moments are too grounded in winning; the immediacy is all that matters. Indeed, one of the weakest moments in my script, Sister Prometheus, is a game of badminton between the Adamantine sisters. Virginia and Willow are the younger siblings and have something to prove.

WILLOW serves the shuttlecock. VIRGINIA slams it back for a winner. WILLOW lobs to LOUISE who serves. DIANE volleys back. LOUISE volleys. Bad News Hustlers: Sports in a SceneWILLOW volleys. DIANE drops. WILLOW volleys. VIRGINIA volleys. WILLOW drops. DIANE volleys. LOUISE slams it for the winner.

Yes, it’s badminton; there’s lots of volleying. I’ve inserted the glares, exclamations, even a bit of profanity, but it’s still flat. And so I took them out again. It was too stuffed and pointless.

Bad News Hustlers: Sports in a Scene

Caddyshack

The key in these sporting moments is in the stakes, as the script gurus say, making the winning proposition more than a game. Something real.

Bad News Hustlers: Sports in a Scene

The Hustler

It’s not the game that matters, but why they’re playing it.

VIRGINIA (Slumping over the shuttlecock): Fucking birdie.