Bad Job Alerts

I recently received spam with the following job opportunities “that may interest me”:

Food-Service, Cashier, Usher Positions, AMC Movie Theaters, Brooklyn: All AMC associates must deliver superior customer service while connecting with our guests.

Valet Parking Attendant, American Valet, Brooklyn: American Valet is looking for attendants to park and retrieve guest vehicles, and assist with customers belongings.20150919_154225Call Center Representative – Sales Associate, Verizon, Brooklyn: Must work in a fast-paced call center environment ensuring customer satisfaction and retention.

Wheelchair Attendant, Airport Staffing Inc, Brooklyn: Positions to support our customer service team in 4 to 8 hour shifts.

Sales Associate, UPS Store, Brooklyn: Responsible for delivering world-class customer service as a cashier, a mail room clerk, and answering the phone.

The only job worse than these is working for a spam company like employmentalert.com.

A Superior “Special Processed American Meat” Message

The punctuation is poor, the message ridiculous, but I do appreciate the details of Mr. Richard’s impressive fortune and tragic demise:

I am James West attorney to late Mr.Richard,who died in a car crash in London with his
family on November 5th 2001.He left behind a deposit of (9.8 million Pounds).poundsYour consent is needed by me to present you as the next of kin to the Bank to inherit his
fortune. Can I trust you on this? You can reach me on Email; and Re-confirm your full
names.