“The Martian”: Vacuous in Space

The idea behind Ridley Scott’s The Martian could be intriguing: What if someone were to be stranded alone on a distant planet? maxresdefaultAs unoriginal as the premise is – a sci-fi staple often used countless Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits episodes – it still has the potential of the vast unknown. However that potential is quickly wasted in The Martian as it can never rise above a tedious salute to American ingenuity, what eventually becomes a mind-numbingly extended episode of MacGyver.

The script is an abomination, the Chief of NASA actually saying “…if nothing goes wrong” right before…something goes wrong. THE MARTIANCharacter development is non-existent, and not a single word is invested into the psychology of being abandoned in space, excepting the long zoom-ins of everyone becoming more empathetic. kristen_wiig-folded_hands It’s astounding that $108 million can be dumped into such a meaningless and vacuous project, and then go on to earn close to $600 million; Ridley Scott hoodwinked us again. 6a00d8341bf7f753ef01a5116e071a970c-800wiWhich makes me wonder when his Alien/Blade Runner credentials will finally run out.

Chris Nolan’s “Interstellar” Rip-Off

Interstellar is but a messy compilation of almost every science fiction film done before.

It opens as Shyamalan’s Signs – a paranormal tone established on a farm – and develops into Spielberg’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind – the lead character following intuitive clues to a secret government installation.close_encountersOur cast goes off in search of other worlds – like all other star-bound yarns – and toils through predictable and half-developed space-age themes like isolation, claustrophobia and love in close quarters, with a couple of buddy-robots thrown in for laughs. Short circuitThe worst of the plagiarism is the sophomoric rip-off from 2001: A Space Odyssey. 936full-2001-a-space-odyssey-screenshotNolan makes repeated attempts at reaching a Kubrick-ian plateau by diving through worm holes, black holes and inner space, eventually arriving at a fifth dimension where time becomes a soft-focus library, from which the viewer can only beg to be released.

The only way this film could be made more tedious would be to view it on Dr. Miller’s Water Planet (pictured below) where an hour equals seven earth-bound years. Interstellar-Dr. Miller's PlanetThat’s right, 21 straight years of Matthew McConaughey tearing up because he can’t age fast enough.

Instead of Interstellar, I recommend a 1996 episode of The Outer LimitsWorlds Apart. Screenshot (522)As cheap as the special effects may be, the story is the same and it’s free on-line.