Concerts are not always what we expect. Indeed they can be so fraught with the promise of excitement, that they turn into just the opposite. Understanding that some of the worst events have probably been permanently deleted from my brain, I offer the worst concerts which I remember:
10. Amon Tobin (Brooklyn Masonic Temple, October, 2011) A spinning electric thing mess that clacked and clanked, all so monotonous and loud.
9. Sebadoh (The Rage, Vancouver, September 1996) The highlight of the evening was the lead singer announcing that tour t-shirts were available “for anyone who still has a pulse.”
8. Bob Weir & Rob Wasserman (Ontario Place, Toronto, July 1990) Bob Weir should never play lead guitar nor sing Take Me to the River again. Ever.
7. Elton John (Barclay’s, Brooklyn, October 2013) The song-writing great went through his catalogue and butchered every last one. That wasn’t Rocket Man, was it?
6. Destroyer/Dan Bejar (Miller Theater, New York, September 2009) Bejar subjected the audience to a naval-gazing slide show and wincing music.
5. Cabaret Voltaire (Concert Hall, Toronto, May 1985) Arriving two hours late, the band played a haughty 45 minutes with slaughterhouse videos as a backdrop. No encore, thank goodness.
4. Bob Dylan & Tom Petty (BC Place, Vancouver, July 1987) Great music transformed into distorted abominations. Like a Rolling Stone wasn’t even decipherable.
3. Jimmy Cliff (Roman Amphitheatre, Carthage, July 1989) Cliff’s terrible Las Vegas style performance was undoubted torture for the performing ghosts from centuries past.
2. The Grateful Dead (Syracuse Dome, Syracuse, October 1984)Terrible sound and energy, low-lighted by Jerry Garcia missing verses and, in the end, unable to pick up his coffee off the amp.
1. The Who (CNE Stadium, Toronto, July 1980) A bitter experience with fights in the stands, hollow sound and the empty realization that live music was sometimes a terrible disappointment.
I love this piece. Every negatively charged adjective has an invisible optimism seemingly ready to counter that charge,.. but doesn’t. “distorted abominations” = singularly best kind of abominations = love this work – it will open up my weekend adventures. thanks for your Friday badside!
“undoubted torture” = who else writes that good?
Always happy to spread the badness! thanks
I remember Sebedoh and I remember the quote!
alas, Vancouver is so off the map for electronic artists that they rarely play live sets. dj sets are widely available to the masses of low expectation ticket holders. bleghh.. and so berlin and new york DO have their merits, after all… sigh
Vancouver isn’t such a rocking town…
I remember seeing the Dylan/Petty tour in Buffalo on July 4, 1986 I believe. Rich stadium. It was a highlight for me, perhaps in my all time top 10. Goes to show a few possibilities- Dylan has always been inconsistent as a live performer. Great one night and godawful the next. I was also “in the mood” (wink wink). Opening act- The Grateful Dead.
The Grateful Dead were never an opening act.