Christmas Tree, you are such a loser. You come into our homes every year, and you think we care because we decorate you with lights and kneel beneath your boughs. You actually think you’re the centre of everything, the glowing hearth of the holidays. And then we drag you into the street and dump you there. We don’t even notice you anymore. You’re like all the other garbage.You’ll be sawdust by the time we get that warm feeling again. And we’ll go after your saplings. Yeah, that’s right, Christmas tree. Fuck you.