There are so many notes, too many to write down, through the layers, each idea scribbled for the one above, seeking to understand the depths, or just trigger that moment of happiness and stay in that. There was a drunken child wanting to fight everyone, and I kept him in my room before going back up through the city, floating above the crowds, not floating as much as striding, walking in flight, thinking someone would be confounded, and yet none of that happened.And then I was at the rink, tightening my skates for the game, as I took notes, hoping I was in the right layer to remember that I was playing for the Leafs again.
Like the pain of a bad wound, the effect of a deep shock takes a while to be felt. When a child is told, for the first time in his life, that a person he has known is dead, although he does not disbelieve it, he may well fail to comprehend it and later ask–perhaps more than once–where the dead person is and when he is coming back.
And then you don’t, and everything goes down with that, making you feel like nothing, certainly nothing like before, when you said and did things like you knew what you were doing. It’s not just the big things – death and disease and Trump – but more the tiny bits suddenly gone – train delay, store closed, panhandler no longer there – creating doubt about what might be next. No job, no love, civilization done. And then we have to get used to that.
Like other great works of science fiction, Cixin Liu’s The Three-Body Problem is flawed in its writing and yet notable for conjecture on the human condition:
Humans have surely invested more than $45 billion in saving species near extinction. And probably more than $450 billion has been spent on saving the environment from degradation. But what’s the use? Civilization continues to follow its path of destruction of all life on Earth except for humans. It’s impossible to stop the madness of humanity. (311) The most surprising aspect of the Earth-Trisolaris Movement was that so many people had abandoned all hope in human civilization, hated and were willing to betray their own species, and even cherished as their highest ideal the elimination of the entire human race, including themselves and their children. (317) The Trisolarian plan focuses on emphasizing the negative environmental effects of scientific development and showing signs of supernatural power to the population of Earth. They will also attempt to use a series of ‘miracles’ to construct the illusory universe that cannot be explained by the logic of science. After these illusions are maintained for some time, it’s possible the Trisolarian civilization may be a target of worship here. (360)