Oh Christmas Tree (An X-mas Cautionary Tale)

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
How are thy leaves so verdant!

Not only in the summertime
But even in winter is thy prime

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

For every year the Christmas tree,
Brings to us all both joy and glee
.

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree! (Seriously, get out of town. Now!)

Happy Holidays, if I Don’t See You

Hey, happy holidays if I don’t see you! I hope your fast goes well. Happy New Year’s, Valentine’s and Easter too. I hope that this new president doesn’t depress you or global warming and these terrorists, yeah, I hope they cut it out, and people, you know, get a fair wage for their work. Happy birthday too, and I hope your mom’s funeral isn’t too bad and that cancer of yours gets better. I mean, if I don’t see you.*

(*-Original concept, Edward Emerson)