What do the 1993 film Scent of a Woman and this year’s Triangle of Sadness have in common – aside from my viewing them back-to-back this weekend? They are both highly praised (Multiple Oscar nominations for Scent of a Woman & Winner of the Palm D’Or for Triangle of Sadness) and yet both incredibly long-winded and deadly dull in the end.

The premise of both films is solid – blind man on the verge of suicide and the Uber rich getting annihilated – none of which is fulfilled. They meander off into the corner at the end – picking up toys or running through the woods – essentially admitting that there was no story to tell in the first place.

But the titles have to be the worst. I won’t bother explaining the triangle of sadness – it just isn’t worth it – but scent of a woman? What the hell is that? Is she sweaty? On her period? Or heavily doused in perfume? I still don’t even know.