Ice Friday: Albert Camus’ “The Stranger”

“Maman died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don’t know.” So begins Albert Camus’ first-person account of a man who murders without reason in his existentialist work, The Stranger. IMG_4845The novel is peppered with absurd moments documenting a man, Meursault, doomed to die. “On my way out I was even going to shake the magistrate’s hand, but just in time, I remembered that I had killed a man.” (64)

Meursault describes “the odd impression of being watched by myself.” (87) And then, once convicted, on the inevitable end shared by all: “What really counted was the possibility of escape, a leap to freedom, out of the implacable ritual, a wild run for it would give whatever chance for hope there was.” (109) IMG_4723“Nothing, nothing mattered, and I knew why. Throughout the whole absurd life I’d lived, a dark wind had been rising toward me from somewhere deep in my future, across the years that were still to come, and as it passed, this wind leveled whatever was offered to me at the time, in years no more real than the ones I was living.” (121)

Scene from “Glenayr” Expunged

Expunged scene from Glenayr:

DAVIS smokes a joint behind The Morrissey Bar with ERDLEY and SUE ANN.

SUE ANN (Smoking the joint): My brother Andy isn’t so bad. You know why he’s so angry? He saw our father drown. All of it right in front of his eyes.

ERDLEY: No shit?

SUE ANN: We were in the Caribbean, snorkeling, and he, like, swam off, looking for buried treasure or something. And then just sunk. (Pause) He had a seizure. That’s what they said. Dead. The guide went after him. He drowned too.

ERDLEY (Stunned): No.

SUE ANN: My brother was floating on the surface. He saw the guy grab my father’s leg. Saw both of them sink into the darkness. (Continues to smoke the joint) Little Andy saw everything. We came back with our father in a casket.

ERDLEY: Holy fuck.

DAVIS: Were you close to him?

SUE ANN gives the end of the joint – with barely anything left – to DAVIS.

SUE ANN: The worst part was seeing the moray eels bite off his head.

ERDLEY: An eel? What?

SUE ANN: (Going back inside The Morrissey): Jesus, you fuckwits, you believed me?

ERDLEY: No. Really?

Watching My Mother Descend

My mother and I were never the best of companions. She had certain expectations of me which I never fulfilled, and I was demanding, stupid and selfish. In short, she wasn’t the best at mothering and neither was I at being mothered.  20150820_163948This said, I always had great respect for her sharp mind and nature, both of which she has now lost.

She has devolved into an acquiescent woman with little to say because she can’t remember much of anything beyond the weather and my name. And as difficult as the process is, it’s not like I can’t cope; it’s just that I dislike watching the installments.20150820_162547She didn’t want to die like this; she was most emphatic about that. But that’s what happens when you beat cancer twice. The worst things get you in the end.

Nakka, the Greenlandic Sled Dog

Nakka is a full-on Greenlandic sled dog that can go for fifteen hours straight, no food or water, through ice and snow.IMG_4780I realized that it might have been a mistake to bring him to New York when, on my first day at a Manhattan dog run, he herded the other dogs – pit bulls and all – jumping the fence and chasing the tourists into the river.

He hated city living – most of all our apartment, only 800 square feet – but also how everyone had to pet him. “Look at you! Little Nakka! You’re so cute!” They didn’t understand that he only bit because he needed space. IMG_4781Anyway, I had to take him back to his home to Ilulissat…where apparently some of the other dogs think he’s putting on airs.20150710_210344

Ice Friday: Alice Munro

Alfred in Visitors summarizes Alice Munro’s narrative style best: “It’s not a story. It’s something that happened.”IMG_4688Munro’s strength is in her characterization: “She was disgusted with her mother’s callousness, her self-absorption, her feebleness, her survival, her wretched little legs and arms on which the skin hung like wrinkled sleeves.” (Accident)

Munro is also a virtuoso at description:”The trees came down to the shore on both sides of the building. The leaves weren’t quite out here, even though it was May. You could see all the branches with just an impression of green, as if that was the color of the air.” (Hard-Luck Stories) 20150708_151226Moments drift in Munro’s prose, echoing a disillusionment with existence; there is a lack of a story arc, a climax, any kind of ending and comes across like the humming of a song, a tune, but nothing concrete.

Ice Friday: Halldor Laxness

Halldor Laxness’s Independent People, an epic tale of a 19th-Century Icelandic sheep farmer, offers ruminations across the spectrum:

On birth: It’s marvelous, you know, when you come to think of it: there you have a new body and a new soul suddenly making an appearance, and where do they come from and why are they always coming? (127) 20150708_113236On childhood: Those were good days. They were serene days and undemonstrative, like the best day in one’s life; the boy never forgot them. Nothing happens; one simply lives and breathes and wishes for nothing more, and nothing more. (188)

On the toils of life: No wonder that the soul is cheerless, that hope is small in people’s hearts, that there is little comfort in lying awake at night. Even the most beautiful memories lose their luster like a shining silver coin that collects verdigris because it has been lost. 20150714_221159And, finally, on sin: Sin is God’s most precious gift. (325)

First Publications: Letter to Marvel Team-Up

My sister, at 13, was the first of my siblings to be published with her drawing of a heap smiley faces, entitled My Father is Bowl of Happiness in Teen Magazine. teen magazineIt took me another few years to see my name in print with a letter to the editor in Marvel Team-Up Comics, Featuring Spiderman. marvel team-upI critiqued an issue in which an orphan started a fire by impulsively yanking a lamp plug from the wall. There was no reason for the orphan to do this, and there was no justification for a fire to start just because he did. On top of the weak characterization and lousy plot development, the graphics of this issue were also particularly weak.

This was also my first experience with an editor who slashed my 300-word missive to one terse line: “Marvel Team-Up is the worst comic I have ever read.” (My outrage with this guy has yet to dim.)

Do-It-Yourself Writer’s Retreat

Writing retreats, like writing conferences, are con jobs. If you want to write, then you should write. And here’s how you can retreat yourself:

a. Find an isolated place – hopefully a key setting in your book – and go there. 20150712_183507b. Give yourself time, more than you think you might need, at least 10 days.

c. Arrive and unwind. Don’t worry about writing on the first day. 20150712_214902d. Create a routine on your first full day – and allow yourself to break it.

e. Never get too down (or up) on your work. Just keep writing. A few words is enough.

f. Be active. You have to get out and circulate your fluids.20150716_174440g. Entertain yourself. Good books are the best, films too. (Just remember that connections – phones, internet, TV – are absolutely vorboten.)

h. Plan the next one.IMG_5064

My Friend, the Disko Bay Iceberg

I spent much of July writing in a room overlooking Disko Bay, in Ilulissat, Greenland. 20150711_193104There was an iceberg that looked a little like a church parked just fifty feet off my deck. It wasn’t like the other icebergs, breaking and rolling and drifting past, but a magical constant, no doubt beached out.

It sat as I wrote, reflecting back, through the morning and afternoon light and into the reddish glow of the night. And there again the next day, stoic. And then it wasn’t. 20150711_211422It had collapsed, been divided, exposing its underbelly, as it turned itself inside out and drifted away back to the depths, leaving me with an emptiness of blue.