Oh Christmas Tree (An X-mas Cautionary Tale)

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
How are thy leaves so verdant!

Not only in the summertime
But even in winter is thy prime

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

For every year the Christmas tree,
Brings to us all both joy and glee

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree! (Seriously, get out of town. Now!)

Fuck Christmas

Christmas is like a politician: all promises but a liar in the end. UnknownWhile there might be gatherings and good wishes and fond regards, I can’t say that I am buoyed by any of these facile exchanges, given our on-going state of affairs. 141125-ferguson-protest-nyc-2003_f0a068f95e3919546018b9ced8b19245As for the songs, lights and trees, we all know where all of these things end up. 20140104_131303That just leaves the presents, the bags of things that the wealthy can exchange in excitement and glee. 130_0207_026_z+2006_SEMA_auto_show+car_mate_mercedez_benzAnd the extravagances that the not-so-rich can’t afford but have been indoctrinated to believe they must have to find happiness. samsung-tv-reviewsAnd then there’s whatever left for all of the rest. 20140414_110415And so, yes, you will have to forgive me for being so rude, but: “Fuck Christmas.”images

Fuck You, Christmas Tree Too

I already told you, Christmas Tree. 20140104_133315Weren’t you listening?20140104_131238Fuck you. 20140104_130332How could you fall for this all over again? 20140104_130657You think that we care because we take you into our homes and dress you up? 20140104_131650How stupid could you be? 20140104_130915We use you, Christmas Tree.20140104_130804We just pretend to care.20140104_131303And then we throw you out. 20140104_130422You’re garbage. 20140104_131635So get into your mulcher and let us get on with our lives. 20140104_131823Until we want to pretend again. 20140104_131531Until then, remember what we said. “Fuck you, Christmas Tree.” 20140104_130849

Lost Little Christmas Trees

Hey, I don’t know if you’ve been looking…but I think I might have found your Christmas tree.

Randall's Island, NYC

Randall’s Island, NYC

I mean, I realize that it might not be your actual Christmas tree, but I know you threw that one in the garbage. Anyway, this is where they all seem to go. IMAG0031Maybe you feel bad about that? I don’t know. IMAG0035And even if you can’t nurse the little jasper back to health, you could give it a proper burial.IMAG0036Or are you sticking with the plan of forgetting about your old one and just getting another fresh green thing next Christmas?IMAG0038And then throwing that one out too? IMAG0037Oh, okay. It’s still Fuck you, Christmas Tree.

‘Tis the Season: Fuck You, Christmas Tree

Christmas Tree, you are such a loser. IMAG2108You come into our homes every year, and you think we care because we decorate you with lights and kneel beneath your boughs. You actually think you’re the centre of everything, the glowing hearth of the holidays. IMAG2113And then we drag you into the street and dump you there. IMAG2111We don’t even notice you anymore. IMAG2106You’re like all the other garbage.IMAG2112You’ll be sawdust by the time we get that warm feeling again. And we’ll go after your saplings. Yeah, that’s right, Christmas tree. Fuck you. IMAG2109