I Got Cancelled

My sister stopped engaging with me several years ago. “My therapist thinks it’s better this way.” My brother decided the same this past Christmas. “You’re no fun to talk to.”

Linked as children by our sweaters. (Columbia Icefield, 1972)

I had never got along exceptionally well with either of them, but I did strive to maintain at least a superficial relationship, if not for anything else, to stay connected with my nephews and nieces. I haven’t seen my sister’s son since he was seven; he’s now finishing his undergraduate degree in Italy.

The final descent of my sister’s Iron Curtain was triggered after our mother’s death, the last of the preceding generation, meaning there was now no one to say no.

My mother in the backyard of my childhood home in Toronto

The odd thing about this is that we all share financial stability as well as similar social and political grounding. There are no real axes to grind, no addictions or houses burned down. The main point of contention stems from 2006 when I sublet my sister’s Manhattan apartment and a couple of curse-laden messages were left by my former girlfriend on her answering machine.

My sister arranged a group therapy session with my brother and I. The session foundered the moment the therapist instructed us to step back from our conflict and share a personal issue with which we struggled. I shared my regret about never having children. My brother offered that he could get frustrated with fund-raising issues at his linguistics lab. My sister’s answer was exceptionally terse. “There’s nothing.” “Nothing at all?” The therapist prodded. “Nothing at all.”

My penchant for getting buried began in Anna Maria Key, Florida

I should have seen the writing on the wall at that moment, but I also knew that her operating mechanism was to avoid emotions at all costs. Which of course leads to my cancellation, a choice that’s not actually surprising given our current cultural climate.

No matter the reason – difference of opinion or indifference – our odd world continues to devolve into a social media platform where faces are deleted, voices silenced with a tap on the screen. Different perspectives aren’t negotiated but blocked, the sphere ever smaller, down the worm hole with the AI avatars, where the friendliest and most wonderful perspective of all are offered, where friends and brothers are always compliant and understanding, where my sister is probably talking to her new AI brother now. That jerk.

The Cancellation of Gunter Grass

Gunter Grass, the German/Polish 1999 Nobel Literary recipient and renowned author of novels such as The Tin Drum, The Flounder and Crabwalk, has been quietly cancelled.

This passively sinister action stems from a revelation that Grass had been drafted into the Nazi’s Waffen SS as a 16-year-old, something that he did not confess to until fifty years later in his 2003’s autobigraphy Peeling the Onion. I was silent. Because so many others have kept silent, the temptation is great…to shift the blame onto the collective guilt or talk about oneself only figuratively in the third person: He was, saw, did, said, he kept silent.

Gunter Grass statue in Gdansk is also shat upon

The common Polish thinking is that a tainted man such as Grass should not be granted the same esteem as fellow Nobel recipent Lech Walesa (and Gdansk native), who himself called Grass’ conscience into question. This cancellation stems not simply from a vague moral code but more so from how Mr. Grass wrote. As Jochen Bittner put it in his New York Times editorial: “There was a lot of self in his righteousness.” In other words, Mr. Bittner, like many others, felt that he was being written down to.

I remain a great admirer of Gunter Grass’ work, not only because of his literary talent and meticulous research but even more so exactly for the many characters who were forced to take responsibilty for their actions. Most poignant is a scene from The Tin Drum in which Alfred Matzerath chokes to death on his Nazi pin in an attempt to conceal his affiliation from the arriving Russian soldiers.

Grass’ cancellation echoes the 2018 attacks on Massachusett’s Senator Elizabeth Warren when it was revealed that she claimed Native Status on her application to Harvard, a trite notion championed by Donald Trump. The purpose of the accusation was not to achieve transparency, but rather to knock somebody who thought they knew better down to size, something the voting public took hook, line and sinker. This means that rather than have an astute, forthright and intently thoughtful leader in power, we are left with a yammering dolt who bullied, cheated and raped his way to the top.

What do we lose in this cancellation of Mr. Grass? In checking the books available at my local Gdansk library, a mere kilometer from his birthplace, I cannot find a single Grass title, but instead a ‘G’ section dominated by John Grisham and Tess Gerritsen, offering what appears to be the moral compass of the day.

Grisham & Geritsen rule the G’s