Tag Archives: Happiness

You Want Me to Care? Is That It?

Posted on by

If I die, then I die. The loss to this world won’t be great. I run through the memory of my past in its entirety and can’t help asking myself: Why have I lived? For what purpose was I born? There probably was one once, and I probably did have a lofty calling because I feel a boundless strength in my soul. But I didn’t divine this calling I was carried away with the bits of passion, empty and unrewarding.

My love never brought anyone happiness. I loved for myself, for my personal pleasure. And maybe I will die tomorrow. And not one being on this earth will have understood me totally. Some thought of me as worse, some as better, than I actually am. Some will say “he was a good fellow”, others will say I was a swine. Both one and the other will be wrong. (From Mikhail Lermontov’s A Hero of Our Time)

Still Angry with Philip Seymour Hoffman

Posted on by

I get that Philip Seymour Hoffman had an addiction. I get that he was a sensitive person who ate himself up with his intensity and devotion to his work.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman in "Owning Mahoney"

Phillip Seymour Hoffman in “Owning Mahoney”

And I get that there is a black hole staring back at all of us. 20140131_222323

And I know that there are few, if any, who can match, Hoffman’s talent, his roles in Happiness, Magnolia, Doubt and on stage as Willy Loman.

"Death of a Salesman"

“Death of a Salesman”

But I’m still pissed off at the guy. His death makes me lousy. Not sad. Mad.

Hoffman in "Happiness"
Hoffman in “Happiness”

His energy is gone, fucking gone. I can’t forgive him. Not yet.

And I expect it to be a while before that changes, considering that I’ve yet to forgive Jerry Garcia for his dumb-ass death…18 years back..Jerry Garcia