I’ve had a couple of relationships go belly up in recent years and been flummoxed by these vanishings. Stupid things were said, and surprisingly it wasn’t me either time. I reached out to them in both instances to help move us past the conflict. However, instead of resolution, they stopped answering.

I tried to re-engage, only to realize that the problem wasn’t something I should do or say, but that they couldn’t engage because they didn’t want to face their shame. That’s what I represented, a memory of something stupid they had done. Rather than deal with the issue, it was easier to cancel me.

This has been a revelation for me not just in my personal relationships, but in today’s politics. It is impossible for Trump to take any of his horrible nonsense back. He cannot reflect or reconsider. Neither he nor his supporters cannot face what they have done. It’s easier just to head off the cliff then face their shame.