The best thing about Toronto Blue Jay Edwin Encarnancion’s home run against the Miami Marlins on June 9th wasn’t the swing. 
It wasn’t the look. 
It wasn’t the trot. 
It wasn’t the celebration at home plate of the walk-off win
It wasn’t even the high five with BJ Birdie. 
It was the moment when this Sportsnet reporter got shrugged off.
Oh, the desperation! The indignation!
“Edwin?! Edwin, please!!”
Monthly Archives: June 2015
Pat Toasts, Rambles and Flees
The meeting was supposed to end with a brief toast to Caroline’s pregnancy, but then Pat abruptly stood. “Congrats to all the new parents and those who will soon be!”
As irritating and odd as he was, we were compelled to listen, especially given the knowledge that Pat had recently been charged with obscene behavior. 
“Not nearly as major as the great news of healthy newborns and their loving new parents, IÂ must report to say when I left my flat this morning I almost tripped over something. Yes, it would not be the first incident of injury for me this year!” He paused, seemingly for effect, and his gapped teeth made a sudden and startling appearance. “It was my wallet! All money was in it, just under $100. All cards were in it; unfortunately, I cancelled all my cards, but no one used any, so that is good. I also got a new driver’s license.”
“Not nearly as major as the great news of healthy newborns and their loving new parents, IÂ must report to say when I left my flat this morning I almost tripped over something. Yes, it would not be the first incident of injury for me this year!” He paused, seemingly for effect, and his gapped teeth made a sudden and startling appearance. “It was my wallet! All money was in it, just under $100. All cards were in it; unfortunately, I cancelled all my cards, but no one used any, so that is good. I also got a new driver’s license.”Kiara leaned into Caroline; neither could suppress a laugh.
“Nevertheless!” He tried to laugh too, but it came out more as a wheeze. 
“Nevertheless, whoever the person is, I am thankful that the person, who may have had some moral issues to battle, must have heard an inner voice saying, to borrow a film’s title, Do the Right Thing – it may have taken a while, but the better part of him/her answered a tiny prayer I silently said in my head.” Pat was forgetting to breathe and struggled with the last few words. “Wording may be awkward, but fear not–I don’t have too many voices shared in my head–I couldn’t resist a chance to offer a line like that!” He opened his bottle of green tea and drank ferociously.
“Nevertheless, whoever the person is, I am thankful that the person, who may have had some moral issues to battle, must have heard an inner voice saying, to borrow a film’s title, Do the Right Thing – it may have taken a while, but the better part of him/her answered a tiny prayer I silently said in my head.” Pat was forgetting to breathe and struggled with the last few words. “Wording may be awkward, but fear not–I don’t have too many voices shared in my head–I couldn’t resist a chance to offer a line like that!” He opened his bottle of green tea and drank ferociously.Caroline stood; we all did. It seemed that the police might arrive any moment.
 “Whoever and wherever that person is,” Pat continued. “I thank him/her. My faith in humanity wavers at times, but I am ever the optimist inside. I do not plan on changing that characteristic.” 
The door opened, not the police, but Phyliss, the secretary, phone in hand. “Oh, yes, Mr. Bates? You’re wanted outside.”
Pat continued on. “I also want to say I thank everyone here.  Everyone here has made this onetime outsider feel as if he is part of a large, caring family. This is how we work if you are patient and give it a chance. May it always stay that wonderful way. Thank you all. Cheers!” 
He darted past Phyllis and down the hallway toward the back exit.
He darted past Phyllis and down the hallway toward the back exit.Dead Teddy Bears
I am occasionally compelled to photograph dead animals, due to my downbeat aesthetic. 
I have recently found a more striking subject: abandoned teddy bears.
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
Today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic*
(From “Teddy Bear Picnic” by Jimmy Kennedy)
Unreal: No Faith in The Bachelor’s Process
Unreal, Lifetime Network‘s new fictional reality show based on The Bachelor, has it all wrong. 
Their aim is to offer a behind-the-scenes scoop on how reality shows really work, heaping blame on soulless producers and production assistants who feast on guileless participants. 
And I’m not buying any of it.
Not only is Unreal‘s narrative dull, actually triter than the real thing, but it is founded on the inane premise that there is a star chamber in Reality TV.
While the show purports to be yet another phase in the modern world’s self-deconstruction, it is merely a naive sidetrack.
The point of The Bachelor isn’t making a deal with the devil but rather sharing in everyone’s common stupidity. 
The contestants actually do want to find love and are willing to expose themselves, and all their frailties, in blind faith to “the process” espoused on the show. 
That’s the beauty of this train wreck…and our pathetic desire to watch.
Transplanting Characters in “Anori”
Fitz is a go-to character in Anori: “To my mind, the philosopher types all died in the Renaissance and that.”Â
It seemed obvious that he would be a player in a prime scene in the book, something that’s got everything – sex, police chases as well as furious angst. 
However I realized that Uncle Ralph is the one who belongs in the scene; he’s family and makes Dee understand what she will be leaving.
And so, as much as I love the witticisms of Fitz, I had to expunge him from the great chase scene in New York.
He was transported to Greenland instead, where he will watch the ice melt and wax melancholic about the great ships launching into space. 
“Good seein’ ’em go. Now we can have a bit of the peace and quiet.”
Pat’s Vigor/Vigour
Alex and I had almost finished lunch, a long afternoon of meetings and then the evening’s presentation ahead. The door opened abruptly and our senior colleague, Pat, appeared. “Please pardon my intrusion, but I discovered my wallet, reddish-tan, went missing, along with $60-70, four credit cards, my driver’s license, medical cards, and a doctor’s prescription for medication. Lucky me!” He raised his eyebrows, croookedly above his sunken face and dark beady eyes.”Well, if either one you comes across it, please think of me. Do call/text and I will meet you virtually anywhere at your convenience.”
Alex stared back, open-mouthed, the end of his tuna fish sandwich loose between his thumb and forefinger.
“I thank you both, and I must state I truly appreciate the positive course our business venture seems to be piloting, as well as a renewed vigor, v-i-g-o-r or v-i-g-o-u-r. Either one.” Bits of foamy spittle had collected at the corners of his gap-toothed grin. “I feel this both inside and around me.”
Alex put down the sandwich and wiped his hands methodically.
“I am very fortunate to be working with such colleagues.” Pat nodded sharply and backed out of the door, only to reappear like a bristly mole. “Most sincerely.” And he was gone.
“How does that guy still have a job?”
“Not a clue.”