What I mean to say is “I appreciate you”. Each and every one of you.
The ruling is a simple one. Stop being a fucking baby. There’s no paradise thing. We made every step, always our own, never for another, pretending maybe, but that’s a child’s game.
Life has to be lived, the same as it’s always been. It doesn’t matter how long or short the game, black-outs and cash-outs included, it’s played to the end. Grow the fuck up and keep posting your dog and cat pics. They’re fucking hilarious.
I wrote all day. And then I wrote more. I went at it too long, and now I feel stupid and stoned. I was out of it, that was certain, all those images and words gone from my head. I was voided. There was nothing.
Bust of James Joyce, Dublin
I remember thinking that the story was important. But now…I don’t know. It seems more a never-ending thing about drugs and sex and redemption too, but all towards death and forgetting, tomorrow and tomorrow and who cares.
My hands looked weird, and I didn’t know where I was. I tried to think if I could still get booze at the store and got vertigo. That was all I had. And I needed something for tomorrow. I knew that. And the day after that. I just didn’t know what.
The truth is that it is not worth the wait. Except that I always seem to scroll to another asking me to wait for it. Again.
Well, these might be a little more predictable. A little scary though how they all fall in line.
But it is an endless looping thing. And I need to sleep. Oh, by the way, I am writing Anori again. Draft nine, ten or eleven, something like that. My next blog is on that. Wait for it!