The Bloated Orange Monster In All Of Us

Let’s be honest. The problem isn’t just in the bots making crazy posts, the tailgating Camaro, the halfwit half-brother or the dipshit daughter-in-law. It’s in all of us. As nice as it is to blame an unhinged president, or fentanyl and oil or lockdowns and raids, that’s missing the point. Why did we let it happen? What did we do? What about me and you?

I went to a Ratdog concert (with Bob Weir) at The Beacon Theater in 2006, introduced by none other than Donald Trump. It was a joke for most, many yelling out “You’re fired!” But how did he get there? Why did we let him on the stage? I mean, really, why did we do that?

Those bloody hats

That orange bloated monster is all of us, that fear and anger, that vainglorious stupidity that we’re better than we are, that we deserve more than we have. As much as we might hate to admit that we’re in a fat suit and our skin just isn’t right, we are that fucking guy.

Hunter S. Thompson Takes on Trump

Our hellish cartoony world would clearly benefit by the Gonzo approach of Hunter S. Thompson…

Not much has been written about the Ibogaine Effect as a serious factor in Trump’s presidency, but word has leaked out that some of Trump’s top advisor’s have called a Brazilian doctor who is said to be treating the president with ‘some kind of strange drug’ that nobody in the White House has ever heard of. The Ibogaine Effect explains Trump’s attacks on female reporters, the delusions and altered thinking that has characterized his outlandish decisions and, finally, the condition of ‘total rage’ that has gripped him in office. It is entirely conceivable that Trump’s brain is almost paralyzed by hallucinations, that he looks over the crowd and sees Gila monsters instead of people, and that his mind snaps completely when he feels something large and apparently vicious clawing at his legs.

Gila Cat ready to pounce

The root of the Trump magic is a cynical, showbiz instinct for knowing exactly which issues would whip a hall full of beer-drinking factory workers into a frenzy – and then doing exactly that by howling down from the podium that he had instant, overnight cure for all their worst afflictions. Whatever it is, Trump assures his supporters that the solution is actually really simple, and that the only reason they had any hassle with the government at all was because those greedy bloodsuckers in Washington didn’t want the problem solved, so they wouldn’t be put out of work.

Trump raged incoherently at the tube for eight minutes without drawing a breath, then suddenly his face turned beet red and his head swelled up to twice its normal size. Seconds later – while his henchmen looked on in mute horror – Trump swallowed his tongue, rolled out of his chair like a log, and crawled through the plate glass window.*

(*Culled and adjusted from Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72)

Biden-Trump: Round One

Why so much outrage about Tuesday’s debate? Was someone expecting a sensible discourse on policy? Really? Moderator Chris Wallace expressed his own surprise. “I never dreamt it would go off the tracks the way it did.” How could he have forgotten all the staking and name-calling in the Clinton/Trump debates?

No matter what the format, no matter what the rules, Trump will insult, badger and bully. That’s what he does. (“Don’t ever use that word smart with me. Don’t ever use that word.”) His strategy is clear: put a phrase on repeat – “far left radicals”, ” three and a half million dollars”, “Antifa” – like an angry Alzheimer’s patient.

In other words, it isn’t hard for Biden to beat Trump with words. All he has to do is shake his head at Trump and deliver a zinger or two. Not “clown” or “shut up”, but “Behave, Donald” or “Your wall is a swamp.” Trump’s racist rants will do the rest.

Battery Park Rally Against Trump’s Muslim Ban

This was my first political rally, complete with chants – No Hate, No Fear! Refugees are welcome here! – signs and speakers. Battery Park Rally Against Trump's Muslim BanNew York politicians showed up in force: Senators Charles Schumer, Kirsten Gillibrand and Cory Booker, Mayor Bill De Blasio, Congressmen Jerry Nadler and Adriano Espaillat, along with a host of city council members. Battery Park Rally Against Trump's Muslim BanThe only thing that Trump’s despotic methods have managed to achieve so far is galvanize the opposition against him; the past indifference – liking, tweeting and such – has evolved into activism, protests appearing everywhere in the country and around the world. Battery Park Rally Against Trump's Muslim BanWhat wicked thing has he in store next? Week two has only just begun.

Spinning The Millions Who March

The Women’s March was a moment to be remembered, 400,000 singing, screaming people, everyone just glad to be alive and together, creeping along 42nd Street, up 5th Avenue, five hours to go about 20 blocks. Spinning The Millions Who MarchIt was a joyous affair, not looking to go anywhere, happy with where we were, cheers and songs surging back and forth, echoing between the buildings, calls of “my body, her body” the strongest. (Watch this video!)Spinning The Millions Who March

Truth be told, I’ve never had the pleasure of a more courteous, empathetic, indeed lovely collection of souls in my life. (Good god, what if women did run the world?!?)Spinning The Millions Who MarchLots of emotion, all of that welling up, realizing what could be, even thinking things just might work out after all. Spinning The Millions Who MarchAnd yet, we know what is next, the inevitable spins of fake news, of out-and-out denial, the lies of “dogmatic intransigence” and “alternate facts”. Thus the signs.

The Trump policy of Lie and Repeat will stay the course, getting more entrenched in fear and anger. And so, sadly, there is nothing to do but take the gloves off and say what’s what in no uncertain terms. It’s time to fight. Hard.
Spinning The Millions Who March